Gladly Inked for Life

Last week I wrote a post and mentioned my tattoo. Little did I know it would spark some curiosity and provide the perfect inspiration for a whole other post.

First some background. I've been incredibly fortunate in my life to have a few pretty significant friendships. One was a friend through middle school, high school and a few of my many college years. He was a confidante, a buddy and someone who could ALWAYS make me laugh. When he died, entirely too young, it was one of the first experiences I had with losing someone who had been important to me.  Though we weren't super close at the time of his death, I didn't handle it very well. It wasn't a pretty time for me emotionally. There was definitely a whole bunch of relying on chemical crutches to get me through the pain.  At his wake, I remember talking to a few mutual friends and deciding we would all get tattoos to remember him. Our friend's Irish heritage made the tattoo design easy to decide on.


Fast forward a year or so and several drinks later... During a night on the town, a friend and I were between bars and walking by a newly opened tattoo shop.  He turned to me and jokingly said, "Want to get a tattoo?" I surprised even myself when I said, "Actually, yes." There was never a question in my mind what I wanted. And I never had a moment's hesitation.

I sat down in the chair and waited to see my new "ink."  Half-way through the process I must have been looking a bit sallow because the artist asked me if I was feeling alright and offered a trash can if I was feeling sick to my stomach. First off, if there was one thing I used to be a pro at - it was the proverbial drunken yak. But, until that moment I hadn't felt sick to my stomach AT ALL. I was in a bit of pain, sure, but I was fine otherwise. Well, until that jerk mentioned the trash can. You get the idea. Thankfully it was a boot and rally kind of situation. I ended up surviving the process and walked out on my own two feet.

In the end, that night left me with one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. Now, I'm not sure if anyone else ever got (or even remembers discussing getting) a tattoo. But, mine is incredibly special to me whether they did or they didn't. I've never, ever, ever regretted the decision - as emotionally charged and liquor fueled as it was. 
Now it's your turn! Let's hear about YOUR tattoos...
{p.s. this was the most awkward photo shoot EV-ah}

Under the Influence

I have a very suggestible brain.
{please don't use that admission against me with any Jedi mind voodoo, okay?}

I first began to notice just how susceptible to suggestion I was a few weeks ago.  Lately I've been watching Gilmore Girls.  I never got into the series when it originally aired, so it's been a treat to get to enjoy it in its entirety and at my leisure on DVD.  Ahhhhhhh, technological creature comforts, how I love thee.  If you've ever watched the show you must be aware that its two main characters are coffee crazy.

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It's so true.  Between Lorelai and Rory there must be ten cups of coffee consumed per episode.  And if they aren't drinking it, they're talking about it.  Coffee, Coffee, everywhere Coffee.

Don't believe me?





At first I didn't even realize what all this coffee talk was doing to me.  I would just innocently enough, crave a cup whenever I was watching an episode.  I didn't put two and two together until one night while watching an episode after dinner I went to put on a fresh pot.  This was a problem. Here's the thing, I love coffee.  I drink at least a cup a day, nay; I relish at least a cup a day.  Coffee is a vice I willingly picked up after saying goodbye to every other chemical crutch in my life.  However, I've learned that coffee is a morning/daytime drink for me.  As a person who struggles with sleep and loves her coffee strong and full of sugary creamer, I try to avoid coffee once the sun goes down.  A craving for coffee at night could mean only ONE THING.  Those rascally Gilmore Girls had invaded my brain and I had weakly fallen prey to their suggestive coffee banter!

Now, obviously, having a brain that is susceptible to suggestion isn't all that bad when you're just talking coffee.  Well, unless you're a Mormon, of course. {Apologies if you're Mormon - What? They're ALL OVER the blogosphere - and you KNOW I'm right.} But there are temptations out there that are far, far more dangerous than coffee, my friends.

Enter Mad Men.

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As I've mentioned before, I have a history of affinity for chemical vices.  Thankfully there was one particular one that I never picked up.  Tobacco. I never was a cigarette smoker. Blech. They tasted bad, made me smell bad AND gave me an awful headache. Add to all that the price of a pack and smoking cigarettes was never something that tempted me.

Well, until yesterday when I was watching an episode of Mad Men! Why on earth did I suddenly want a cigarette? The answer is simple. My brain is just one giant suggestion box.  And it seems Don Draper and his cancer sticks are stuffing it full of comment cards.







Thankfully, I'm on to you, Cast of Mad Men. Damn you all, with your witty banter and amazing wardrobes, sitting in your fantastically kitschy, period perfect sets while smoking those cigarettes and making them seem seductively sexy.  You aren't snaring me. You can keep your dirty cigarettes (or the even grosser "clove" variety that you claim to use as substitutes during filming). I'll be quite content here on the couch with my cup of joe.

Be honest, have you ever craved a cigarette after/while watching Mad Men?

Quick Bloglette

Here's yet another clue that I'm getting old and lame.

Despite the infectious, silly fun that is Katy Perry's new song "Last Friday Night," I can't help focusing on the fact that it glorifies teenage binge drinking and sends a really mixed message.

"It's a blacked out blur but I'm pretty sure it ruled." Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Noooooooo.

Yep, it's official. I'm old and lame.

Photo Challenge Days 16 & 17

Day 16 – A Picture of Me more than 10 Years Ago

Mardi Gras (in STL) 2000

This picture is kind of a perfect indication of where I was 10 years ago. See that girl? She’s at the beginning of the journey toward rock bottom. …and apparently carrying 10 extra pounds on her journey.

Day 17 – A Picture of what you wore Today

This is why I could never be a full time Fashion Blogger

Sometimes I really enjoy wearing cutoffs, flip flops & old t shirts. Plus most summer days I leave my hair in a messy bun and hardly wear any makeup or jewelry. Regardless of my “fashion don’tness”, I am pretty stoked about this picture. Both Lexi & the handsome hubby are out of town, so I figured out how to use the timer on my camera and get a full body shot WITHOUT the aid of a tri-pod. This might lead to many, many more self indulgent self portraits. Consider yourself warned…

You guys! I'm almost finished with the photo challenge. It’s making me a little sad! Just one more day and I’ll have to come up with a whole new reason to sort through old photos and tell you guys to visit Krystal’s blog Village.  I'm just trying to enjoy it while I can.

Television may be Gone but It's not LOST

About a month ago we cancelled our Dish Network.

I’ll give you a moment to digest the enormity of the sentence that I just typed.

Okay, everybody back with me?

It’s true. For the past 30-plus days our household has been completely without a television feed. We didn’t replace it with cable (I have very STRONG negative feelings about Comcast – the cable provider in our area – and its shoddy way of doing business). We haven’t purchased a digital converter box to take advantage of “free” television. No, none of that for us. We are totally without a television signal of any kind.

Now, before I proceed I should explain something. Our choice to cancel Dish wasn’t some kind of radical political statement. We’re not into any of that “Kill Your Television” nonsense. It started out innocently enough as a way to cut the monthly budget. Actually, it was just a joke when first mentioned. Back then, we thought of paying for television as a “necessity” not a luxury. But as time went on we realized we were kinda wrong. We were surprised to discover the staggering availability of programming on the internet. I'm not telling you anything you don’t know. Between Hulu, network websites and our Netflix membership, there are plenty of television shows to be streamed, downloaded and watched really easily. Sure you have to wait 24 hours or even a week sometimes to see new episodes… but patience is a virtue, right?  Our reasoning is, if we’re already paying for a Netflix membership AND for an internet connection, why pay for Dish too?  I mean, it's not like we EVER get Cardinal games on TV down here!  AND we have a cable that runs right from the computer to the TV so we don't have to huddle around the computer screen to watch anything online.

The more we talked about it, the less crazy the idea started to become. In addition to saving money we figured that losing 3 hours in front of the television each night, might be good for us. We could work on projects around the house, play games, talk, read or even watch movies. Three hours a night, 21 hours a week, 84 hours a month and 1,008 hours a year; we were taking them back! Imagine the possibilities. Afterall, it’s much more “sexy” to believe, “We’ve given up television as a lifestyle choice. It’s a decision we’ve made to improve our everyday existence, not just to save a few dollars.”

So we called Dish Network, cancelled our subscription, sent back the DVR (there were only a FEW tears shed… no, but seriously, it did hurt a little bit) and set out to live our new television free, activity filled life together. I won’t bore you with the list of projects we’ve accomplished in a short month. But, suffice it to say, we’ve done some stuff. It’s actually been really nice. We even eat dinner at the dining room table again! Which was at first it was little awkward. You know, like having to talk to one another during a meal? But, we’re getting used to better at it.

Now, don’t let me fool you. Like the textbook junkie that I am, I haven’t completely removed the television monkey from my back.

My name is Molly and I am a television addict.

Remember how I mentioned all those readily available avenues to watch television? Well, I'm taking full advantage of them. Were you wondering why I haven’t posted anything in a few days? I’ll tell you why. Last Friday I decided to start watching Lost again from the very beginning.  I'm just doing it to prepare for the series Finale next month. All five seasons are available to stream to my computer through Netflix. It’s totally amazing. And so, my addiction is in full control. I have watched 21 – yes 20 + 1 – episodes over the past six days. At forty-three minutes per episode that’s roughly 15 hours of television. And, I’d like to say that’s all I’ve watched, but it isn’t. Hulu, Netflix and network websites are like pushers feeding my habit and scratching my itch.

So, I guess I'm back to admitting that we gave up television simply to save money. Were we really fooling anyone anyway? Because unless there’s some sort of full-on intervention (and don’t you EVEN dare), I'm not giving this vice up… ESPECIALLY in the middle of a month long LOST marathon.

* You can PURCHASE this photo along with several other Lost cast photos on ABC's website.  This photo is borrowed with great appreciation from the same site.

5000+ Visits

On Saturday, A Foreign Land (this here blog you're reading) passed the 5,000 visit mark. Which is kind of cool, I think.

Now, to anyone who actually has a blog, 5000 visits aren’t probably all that impressive. Especially since A Foreign Land has been around for, like, ever. But it's a milestone and I'm excited. Since it wasn’t until 18 months ago that I started to even consider going public, 5000+ is respectable. Once I finally got the guts to actually put it out there for the world (probably about a year ago) my numbers increased significantly. And now here I am at 5000+ views. This week = small milestone + big smile. It kinda makes me wonder what would happen if I actually tried to promote it? Anyway, I tell you this because it was one of the items on my Ultimate To Do List. CHECK. (My list is an idea I completely stole from Mighty Girl – here’s her fantabulous list! Be amazed, be very amazed.)

In other AND totally unrelated news, I took some cold medicine today and I am feeling LOOOOpy. I've mentioned before that I've been sober for what seems like three bazillion years by now. That’s right, folks, clean livin' for this girl. So, when my system gets hit with some drugs - not even prescription strength, we're talking over the counter junk - I canNOT maintain. Now, my current state of loopiness is not necessarily a bad thing since we are going to see Alice In Wonderland tonight. Maybe I'll take another dose before I go and I won't even need the 3D glasses!

Thankful Thursday / episode 6

by this point, if you've read ANY of my previous posts you know that i have not always been a good girl. i didn't always make the wise choice. i learned many lessons by falling flat on my face (many times breaking a figurative tooth or blackening a metaphorical eye). but, i'm not the type of person who lives with regret. in other words, the paths that i took, the mistakes that i made, the piles of crap that i stepped in along the way are just part of who i am. i recognize that i am a stubborn, prideful person and the only way that my dna would allow me to learn the lessons i've learned is to have experienced the life that i have. and while it might have been a bit easier and a lot less messy to have a lived differently, i'm content with the reality of my past. after all, it's brought me to where i am today - a woman who recognizes that i am a cherished, loved, sought after daughter of my creator. (not to mention i have a great family, fiercely loyal friends and i ended up with a super hot and amazingly kind husband to boot!)

what's cool is that in the work i do, my yucky past is actually an amazing asset. the experiences i've had and the streets smarts i've earned make me uniquely qualified for my position. totally weird. but without a doubt, absolutely ordained. who would have ever imagined that i could put all the icky stuff to use for GOOD?!?!?!?! but, i'm telling you it happens EVERY day.

episode 6: "today i am thankful for ... a redeemed past."

it's super cool to think that my suffering wasn't for naught. and more importantly it wasn't only for me. i have the opportunity to be a part of keeping others from making the mistakes i made. which is a pretty awesome place to be. seriously, if you really know me, does it surprise you that i'm being used as an example? and a good one at that! because it freaks the crap out of me. but it also fills me with incredible humility and gratitude.

so, today i am thankful.

dissimilar experiences

When I decided on the title of this blog, mainly I had our city of residence in mind. But as time has gone on I’ve realized it fits so much more. It feels like daily I find myself in situations that can appropriately be defined as totally foreign

Take for instance a conversation that I witnessed today on my way back from a baby shower. Now, it goes without saying that a baby shower - surrounded by a bevy of young moms discussing things called Boppys (?) and ultimate crib sheets is pretty "foreign." But the conversation on the way home was even more foreign. This one, like many other conversations left me kind of shaking my head in wonder and awe.

To give a little background without shocking my mother (who obviously reads this blog), I haven't always been a good girl. For the first 27 years of life I probably wouldn't have described myself as pure. It makes me sad to admit it, but it's just truth. I continually find myself impressed and amazed that my background, which I always thought was pretty "normal," is the exception to the rule in the company I keep now-a-days. The choices I made are very different from the choices that a lot of individuals in my community have made and do make. Sometimes hanging out with a bunch of Christians makes me feel kind of weird. Today was one of those times.

Here's a story I heard today:

"Before I got married I tried to be really careful about what I talked about and what I listened to. I didn't figure I’d make it to my wedding day a virgin. But we did and I’m so grateful for that. And once we got married we just let it all go. We find ourselves really laughing and sharing some pretty raunchy humor. It's fun. Sometimes I even find that it slips out when I’m not with my husband.

"Like on Christmas when I was with my in-laws, some just slipped out. My brother in law was pounding the chest of my husband. He said you don't have a breast pocket in that shirt? And before I could check myself, I just said, 'that's because he doesn't have a...'."

A string of giggles.

Sometimes it's even worse than that."

Another string of giggles.

First, she couldn't even say breast.
Second, she found that to be a raunchy joke.

I'm definitely living in a foreign land.

New Year's Re-Evaluation

I'm typically not a new year's resolution type of gal. I guess I just figure if it's a change that needs to be made, I shouldn't wait until the 1st to make it. Plus resolutions set me up for failure since I’m the queen of big ideas without the gift for follow through.

That being said, I’ve got to admit that the end of the year and beginning of a new one is the perfect time for reflection. You just can't help but look over the past 365 to see how far you've come and look ahead to where you'd like to be. Plus, with the handsome hubby out of town for the next 3 weeks, I have plenty of time to focus solely on myself and maybe even switch things up a bit. There's nothing like a little free time and some solitude to provide incentive to improve one's life. Actually, my natural inclination would be to curl up in a chair with a book, the remote, my computer and a bag of Chili Cheese Frito’s until he returns... But onward and upward. It's time instead for some re-evaluation and self reflection.

When I went to rehab one of the first things they had us do was account for our time on a daily basis. It's an exercise that has really stuck in my brain. We were challenged to write down exactly what we did with each 15 minutes of our day. Everything. Nothing was insignificant ~ what we ate, what we thought about, who we spent time with, and exactly what we spent time doing. They were all about balance, and they wanted us to see just how out of balance our lives had become.

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After starting the exercise I was totally shocked.

See, I always felt like I didn't exercise or cook healthy (shoot, cook at all) or spend any time in prayer because I was just too busy. Once I started keeping track of all the important tasks that filled my day, all the stuff that kept me busy, I realized how much time I wasted. It was downright incredible how much free time I really had. Plus, being the people pleaser that I am, it took me no time at all to rearrange things in my schedule. When I am accountable, I’m a whole new woman. Suddenly, it didn't make sense to spend 4 hours in front of the television when I knew others were going to be looking at that big block of wasted space in my day. And those extra 90 minutes a day spent lying in bed stressing and feeling bad about myself disappeared. I was magically able to make it to the gym. I ate better, I prayed and most importantly I diversified.

The simple task of writing things down allowed me to change the way I lived my life.

So, 5 years later I’ve recreated the dreaded time sheet. Over the next week I’m going to keep track of every minute of my day. I'm even going to track how I spend time at work. (If I can figure out how to post an excel spreadsheet, I’ll share the good the bad and the ugly with you guys.) It's just a little experiment. I'm curious just how out of balance I am right now. And what better way to re-evaluate?

If you're interested in taking part in the experiment let me know.

I’ll get you a copy to play along.

5 and Counting

It was nearly 5 years ago that I woke up, yet again, on my bathroom floor. I was completely unable to remember how I got there and to my dismay my car was in the driveway - which meant I drove home again! Some of my drunk friends and I used to call experiences like this time traveling. It was our way of making light of a really serious predicament. But this morning was different. This time, I didn't think it was funny. This time it seemed serious. I felt like I'd been run over by a dump trunk. My stomach was in major revolt and I was expected at work in less than an hour.

Crawling to my bed I wondered how I'd let this happen again. I tried to search my memory for any hints about the night before. As usual, much of the evening was a blur. Disgusted with myself, I recognized how out of control I had become. I had reached the end of my rope. For the first time, smoking a joint to settle my stomach and making myself presentable for work wasn't an appealing option. I wanted help. I needed a change. I longed for freedom.

Blackouts, empty relationships, persistent vomiting, and life lived in a fog just weren't cutting it anymore. My priorities changed with the flush of a toilet.

It was nearly 5 years ago that I woke up. And I had no idea how crazy things were about to get.

Very Diverse iPod

My husband and I have a little joke. Our iPods are constantly in a battle to be the most diverse. (Really, I’m the only one battling, but I’ve made him my defacto opponent). The battle intensifies anytime we take a trip that requires a little drive. And since I am the standing judge of the competition, guess whose iPod typically wins? Once last week's journey brought my routinely victorious iPod to the winner's circle, I got to thinking. Not about my victory... but about how a person's musical taste can really paint an interesting picture. My iPod is full of stories. It explains who I’ve been and how I’ve become who I am.



It goes all the way back to my early childhood. there's the Beethoven that echoed through the house from my mother's piano; the Doobie Brothers that were the soundtrack of every party that my father threw; Huey Lewis and the News that we sang along to as a family on every car trip; the Willie Nelson that still makes me feel like I’m sitting on my Grandpa's lap driving the truck; and a little sampling from my first album (I actually had the vinyl) Thriller.


My adolescence is represented too. My walls were covered in Duran Duran posters and now I’ve got them in my iPod. I’ve got Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake to represent the many, many hours spent in the dance studio. Sgt. Pepper was my first introduction to the Beatles, but it isn't the only Beatles record in there; and then there's James Taylor who may be one of the best gifts my Mom ever gave me. I’ve also got some Showboat to represent the beginning of my lifelong love affair with musical theatre.


My teen years were pretty turbulent (well, who's weren't??), and it's pretty obvious from the music that represents that time. I worked out the angst with Nirvana, Fiona Apple, the Indigo Girls, Snoop Dogg and Rage Against the Machine.


College and the years that followed were a bit of a blur. Music was integral to the parties, the heartbreak and the entire roller coaster ride. Phish cds don't compare to their live shows but they serve as a reminder of times I can barely remember. Michelle Branch nursed my broken heart over and over again. Dirty Vegas represents every after hours club that I danced my butt off in. 'NSYNC and Britney Spears illustrate my desperate hold on the youth that was slipping away.


Sobriety has changed some of my tastes and broadened my horizons. Who could have imagined I’d ever be a fan of bluegrass? Alison Krauss sure changed my mind about that. Miles Davis opened my eyes to the wide world of jazz. Maroon 5 lets me listen to pop while still feeling like a grown up. But no matter how much things change, I’ll always be Led Zepplin's biggest fan.


Allowing my very diverse iPod to shuffle through these and so many other tunes I felt like I was in a time machine. It was a crazy trip through the good, the bad and the memorable. And isn't that how music is? It brings us back. Ready or not, the memories are front and center once the song begins. And that's what I realized during our most recent competition. After all, my story is a bit chaotic, but sure makes for an entertaining iPod.

Amateur Night

December 1st was the 3rd of anniversary of my sobriety. In that time, my recovery has transitioned from an hourly struggle to one characterized by the occasional unexpected craving a couple of times a week. By no means do I believe I’ll ever be "cured" of my addictions, but God has brought me to a place of comfort and acceptance. However, my faith doesn't make it easy - definitely easier, but not easy.

I bring this up mainly because, I’ve just survived one of the most difficult holidays of the year (for me - anyway). New Year’s Eve. Popular culture says that on New Year’s Eve it is our opportunity - maybe even our responsibility- to bid farewell to the past year and to toast in the new year. Being an alcoholic, my assumption is that a toast needs to include alcohol. Sure, I’ve learned to accept unleaded glasses of cheer... But it doesn't mean that settling for them is easy.