I Earned That Coffee

Dear Snooty Barista at My Local Coffee Shop,

I do not appreciate the way you looked down your nose at me this morning when I correctly gave the answer to the daily trivia question. No, I did NOT cheat. No, I was NOT given the answer by my table mate. No, I did NOT use my iPhone to look up the correct response. I actually KNEW the answer. And I did not enjoy the look of accusation that was hurled at me from behind the register as you begrudgingly handed me my coffee cup. Your response was a real downer. Truth be told, today's free cup of coffee may be the only good thing that came out of my brief dalliance with Jimi Hendrix and LSD.

And just in case you were wondering, "Are You Experienced" is the only Jimi Hendrix album title that I recall. It was a lucky guess! And I'm pretty stoked that I was able to whip it out and utilize the info to sate my caffeine craving. After all, it shouldn't be such a leap of logic that there is a good chance that anyone who actually KNOWS the title of a Jimi Hendrix album has perhaps done some damage to his or her brain at some point in life. The very fact that the words "Are You Experienced" were able to take up permanent residence in my head, when they were first ingested during a time of misuse and abuse of my cerebral cortex, is something that should be celebrated! But did you celebrate? No. Your look of suspicion and mistrust was such the wrong response to today's miracle. And that's really probably what it was, a miracle. Shame on you.

You, madame, were a total buzz kill.

In closing, let me just say that I am NOT a cheater. Even if the circumstances looked fishy, I EARNED that coffee! So next time, you can keep your disparaging looks all to yourself and simply say, "Congratulations for not frying your brain so irreparably that you aren't still able to get a free cup of coffee every once in awhile."



lisa c said...

hilarious. i love shops with trivia for free things and i feel like a lottery winner everytime i guess right! i think rembrandt's has had to shell out 2 cups to me and i've won many a free bagel. some of those shops need to up their game!

Erin said...

you crack me up. You sound a little bitter. but I know the feeling of getting that look.

christina said...

i would like to know what you did that would make the cafe server think you were cheating. totally on your side of course. i'm just sayin....

Lexi said...

oh molly ;) couldn't let it go eh?

Jonathan and Audra Payne said...

lol! you are hilariously funny!