A Slippery Slope

About three weeks ago, my body started aching.  The pain was kinda dull and constant.  It woke me up at night.  It made me feel ooooooooooooold. (you remember the birthday drama, of course?)

Knowing that my class schedule has doubled in the past few weeks and I've started training for a 10K, I wondered if the aches and pains were somehow connected to my physical activity level.  There were also moments where my inner drama queen took over and I imagined that I had some sort of debilitating disease that was going to require House and his team to save my life.  I have an active imagination. Back off.

Now, before I go any further with this story... I want to address a little something.  I'm fully aware that once SOME of you finish reading this post, you're going to roll your eyes. You're going to think that this "problem" really isn't a "problem" at all.  Please, I beg you though, don't judge or roll your eyes too quickly.  This post may not win me a popularity contest, but it's a snapshot of what's going on in my life.  So, please, be kind.

Ok, back to the story.  After a week of aches and pains and interrupted sleep I went to my doctor.  He asked about 5 bajillion questions, gave me a simple physical and took some blood tests.  In the end he suggested that I needed to start eating more.  He explained that the aches and pains were probably a result of my body eating my muscles because it had run out of other fuel. Now, let me say that this was a surprise to me.  I mean, I eat.  And I eat a lot. I've been called a human vacuum cleaner.  I'm not kidding you when I say, I eat a LOT.

Turns out though, I don't eat enough protein.  That coupled with my high metabolism has led to an ouch filled couple weeks.

Enter: protein shakes, clif bars, even more greek yogurt and an hard boiled egg a day.

Plus for the past week and a half I've been recording every thing that goes into my tummy.  I'm counting protein, calories, carbs and fats.  And it is ANNOYING.  Like absolutely annoying.  And a tad bit addictive.  Here's the thing, I've got a lot of issues.  (I wanted to put a "link" on that "issues" but I think this blog speaks for itself) I mean, even my issues have issues, you know.  It's just that of all my issues, eating issues or body image issues have never been included.

But if I'm being honest, there was a little zing when I saw that number on the scale at my appointment. (I don't weigh myself typically) It felt good to see my weight where it is. And now, even though I'm aching, I find myself considering NOT eating things I should.  Mainly this is because I don't want to get online and figure out what the nutritional information is and record it... but also because I don't want my daily food journal to look less than healthy.  Luckily, I lurve to eat too much to let that "considering" last too long.  My appetite has won the battle every time so far.  But I wonder, if I had to do this long term would that continue? Would the battles continue to be won by my appetite?  This last week has been a clear picture to me just how easily one can allow their diet to become a ToTAL preoccupation.  It has been very, very tempting to let it start to control me.  It has been very, very scary to experience how easy it would be to give in to the temptation to eat less in the name of "skinny."  Even in my case where it would be unhealthy skinny.

Thankfully, I can say though, that I'm really ReALLY grateful that this food journaling thing is only going to have to last a couple of weeks.  I'm hopeful that once I adjust how I eat, the aches and pains will go away.  I look forward to food becoming a joy again instead of a "problem."  Because, let's be honest, my analyst ReALLY doesn't need another problem to sort through.