11.05.2010

Mean People Suck

...and unfortunately I fall into that category more often than I'd like... (there, now that I've admitted that I fall into the category of people I'm about to whine about let the whining begin.)

Are you ever completely blown away by how we talk to and about one another?  If you aren't, are you listening?  Human beings can be really, really rude and disrespectful.  I bring this up because there have been a couple of isolated instances this week where the phrase, "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" has popped into my head.  I'm not usually a big fan of this old adage, mainly because sarcasm is my spiritual gift and so it cramps my style.  But also because I firmly believe there is a time and a place to say things that might be considered less than complimentary.

For clarification: That time and that place is when you are IN RELATIONSHIP with someone, when you are speaking TO THAT PERSON and when your intention is to HELP and not to harm.

Earlier this week I was privy to a conversation between two people who love one another.  One said something so rude and discouraging to the other that I was embarrassed for him as the words were coming out of his mouth.  The sad thing is neither the recipient of the hateful comment nor the jerk speaker batted an eye.  It was as though this kind of banter between the two was typical and to be expected.  It made me so sad.  It got me thinking if he talks that way to the woman he loves, the rest of us had better duck and cover.

Look, I'm not one for false "niceness".  I don't give and don't wish to receive compliments just for the sake of being complimentary. There's no need to be plastic and fake.  Plus, constructive criticism can be helpful and build character.  Unfortunately, his comment was neither constructive nor meant to help.  I'm not sure if he was trying to be funny or if he thought that his words weren't important.  Clearly though this was an instance where he could have applied the wisdom, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Because being mean to get a laugh or because it just slips out is still mean.

And Mean People Suck. {how's that for your deep thought of the day? I labored over that bumper sticker wisdom sentence for like 20 seconds. You're welcome.}

I feel much better now.  Thank you for indulging me.

What do you do in awkward situations like that?  Should I have hauled off and smacked him?