4.04.2007

nightly battle

our room is dark
i'm lying in 400 thread count, yummy sheets
my body is relaxed and free from aches and pains
the perfect mattress and a fluffy duvet cocoon me in total comfort
my husband isn't snoring and is only taking up his 1/4 of the bed
a thunderstorm outside is creating lots of white noise
there's an amazing breeze coming through the window
it's 2:30 in the morning
these are PRIME sleeping conditions

so why am i unable to crash?????

my mind races out of control
"tomorrow, i'll do this"
"today, i should have said this"
"i wonder how this will turn out"
i can't slow down
seems like i'm trying to solve the world's problems one at a time
as soon as one is resolved, another pops up
and again and again until i'm back to the first one
my mind is too crowded
"will i ever fall asleep"
every minute that ticks by adds stress and frustration
i swear i was tired
but the minute the lights go out, i'm wide awake again
completely conscious and mentally full of energy
not exactly the ideal time for a second wind

chamomile tea
warm milk
progressive relaxation
prayer
a warm shower
lavender linen spray
reading a boring book
a satin sleep mask
short of prescription pills, i've tried it all
my body is willing but my mind rebels

insomnia
the nightly battle that i always seem to lose

1 comment:

marilyn said...

It sounds like you have tried everthing to relax yourself into sleep and yet to no avail. I applaud the fact that you don't want to resort to medication, but maybe this is a physical imbalance
of hormones, or thyroid, etc. If all checks out medically, perhaps it will still take some form of medication for a short while to reset your "inner clock" for sleep.

Creative minds, like yours, often have difficulty "shutting off". The smallest idea triggers endless hours of rethinking. When this happens at 2:30 in the morning it is magnified, isn't it?

It's amazing, but everyone has a different sleep requirement! Maybe you are restoring your body through your various forms of relaxation. This can be just as beneficial as sleep!!

If you stay physically active during the day, and limit your caffeine after lunch, your body will seek the sleep that it needs.
If you still faind yourself awake at 2:30, allow yourself to be in the relaxed state of wakefulness, while you can't multi-task and try not to ruin it by becoming stressed. Some of my most productive thinking has occured, in the dark, when all of the other "noise" is finally gone for the day.

I noticed "prayer" listed as one of your tools. I don't think prayers go unaswered for very long, but it's not always easy to recognize the answers.

400 thread count does sound yummy!!
Wishing you deep sleep,...