5.31.2011

Why I'm Glad I Didn't Have Access to Social Media in High School

Perhaps you haven't heard, but there is a man in a mask competing on this season of The Bachelorette.  That's right, as if the show couldn't get more strange, one of the contestants is wearing a mask.

His reasoning? He wants Ashley to get to know him "on the inside" before she ever sees his face.  Now, on top of the whole stunt being a little bit more than creepy (He NEVER takes it off ... EVER. Even when he's alone.), he seems to be doing it completely devoid of a sense of humor.  It's as if he doesn't get that it's a bit bizarre.  I mean for someone who's so intent on letting his personality speak louder than his implied amazing looks, he seems to have missed the point that wearing a freakin' mask just makes him come off, well, weird.

In case you're curious what's hidden behind the mask... You can see Jeff sans mask HERE.

In last night's second episode we got to learn a little more about Jeff (i.e. hear his requisite sob story - every contestant has one now) and he was only seconds away from revealing himself when the producers sent  another contestant to interrupt the conversation and prolong the masked weirdness. There didn't seem to be incredible chemistry between the two. Although Ashley humored Jeff and his mask throughout the conversation which was strangely set in a stairwell.  Of course that didn't keep the producers Ashley from giving him a rose.  So, Jeff gets 15 more minutes of fame on next week's episode.

But this story gets a little bit more bizarre.  See, after reading the rest of this post, you will no longer find Jeff to be the creepiest person of whom you've ever heard.

The truth is, I have a personal history with the masked man.  No, I didn't date him.  In fact, I didn't really even know him.  Actually, he was one of a handful of boys that my friends and I used to stalk.  That's right, stalk.  We'd drive by their houses to see if they were home, gaze longingly at them in public places without their knowledge, and talk endlessly about them as if they were our boyfriends EVEN THOUGH WE DIDN'T KNOW THEM.  It was very, very sophomoric and very, very fun.

I've said it before, I am so very happy that I didn't have access to social media as a teen.  It would not have been pretty. And my police record might look vastly different than it does today.  Because I have no doubt, if the technology was present, I might have looked a whole lot like this:




Fess up, were you a creeper in High School? Or was I the only totally psycho boy crazy one?