A couple of weeks ago, one of my co-workers (Betty) went to a walk in clinic and had a positive test for mono. For days before her diagnosis, we had joked that we probably both had mono. We were both exhausted and achy all the time. So once she got the positive test results I was certain that my positive test was right around the corner.

I've never considered myself a hypochondriac. But after the events of this past week, I’m starting to wonder. When Betty was taken to the ER, fearing her spleen had ruptured, I began to freak out. My spleen immediately started hurting!!! Up to this point, I’m not sure that I could have told you where my spleen was. But thanks to WebMD, I located it just in time to experience it enlarging. As I looked at the other mono symptoms listed (fever, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes, lack of energy & loss of appetite) my throat began to hurt and I could feel my body temperature rising.

When I say I fear that I’m a hypochondriac, it isn't because I’m taking common everyday cold symptoms and turning them into mono (though I did that too). It is because, my body manifested specific symptoms as I was reading them from an internet list!!! Talk about mind over matter! Clearly I’m susceptible to persuasion.

Though I was tempted to trust WebMD and my own diagnosis, I decided instead to actually see our family physician. Not surprisingly, after my mono test came back negative, my spleen actually stopped hurting! I'm totally not kidding. My fever went away, my throat returned to normal, my appetite came back and I noticed that I had more energy. I felt better leaving the doctor's office than I did walking in just thirty minutes earlier. But, I wasn't even treated for anything! They just drew my blood and ran a stinking 5 minute mono test. Either the words "your mono test came back negative" have healing power, or I’m losing it.

At the time I was so happy to be feeling better that I wasn't able to recognize that I was behaving like a hypochondriatic freak. It wasn't until a few days later that I began to put the pieces together. I was listening to a presentation on post-abortion stress. As I was listening to the symptoms, I found myself quite certain that I was suffering from this psychological disorder. There is just one problem with my self diagnosis; I’ve never had an abortion. So, I’d say the chances of my suffering from post-abortion stress are probably pretty slim.

So, I’m off to WebMD again. This time to find out the symptoms for hypochondria...

1 comment:

andrea said...

ur silly :) let us know what webmd thinks...