Soooooooo, we're headed to STL for the long weekend. I'm pretty excited and a little nervous.

I'm excited for obvious reasons. I can't wait to see friends and family. I'm looking forward to being in a city (weird as it sounds, I can't wait for some traffic!!!). I'm looking forward to eating some of my favorite foods and the chance of running into familiar faces in odd settings when least expected. I'm excited to feel like a native and not a visitor (yes, I know it is pathetic that after a year I still feel like a visitor in Chattanooga ~ but I’m just being honest!!) I can't wait to go to church at the journey and I can't wait to see crowds of people in public places. And I’m super excited to hear people that don't talk with a southern accent!!!!!

But I’m nervous too. Spike is making the trip for the first time, so 7 hours could be pretty long if he freaks out in the car. Also there is the potty factor ~ what if he pees all over every house we visit because he's nervous??? And what if there isn't time to see everybody that we miss so much? But those fears are nothing compared to my fear that I just won't want to come back here! Or even worse, what if my time there isn't everything that I hope it will be??? What if the whole place has changed? What if everyone has moved forward and left us behind? What if I hate it and all the fantasizing I do about moving back is smashed to bits and Chattanooga becomes a more appealing option??? What then?

I guess what scares me the most is ... What if I'VE changed and Chattanooga really is home now?

1 comment:

suzesliv said...

There's no place like home, honey and home is wherever those you love are.....Everybody changes, but the core people in your life NEVER do, no matter how far away you move. Click you heels together and those red shoes will take you home--I promise.